Incessant(why is rain always incessant or driving?) rain and wind.Strong,lusty ,gusty gales;electricity dead, thee walls tremble. Looks like Spielberg is directing.Wind so strong it pushes water on the street likea huge invisible broom. Telephone cables dance and sway; in the distance police lights,overhead a dark grey and black mass of cloud resembling funerery shrouds; it's chaos,albeit a light version,wheres the fuckin candles?The alder trees across the street bend at 70 degrees. On the drama scale: 2

1979,Northern Ilinois, in the warpath of a tornado: in the basement watching trees fly by;drama scale : 10

I grew up with warnings of the apocalypse and warnings from pulpit and podium of Communist invasion, the end of the world,Ragingorak as the Icelandic sagas call it, but what I saw that day was hellish,the aftermath was sure sign that the Furies traipsed by with vitriol and vim,Paul Bunyan had a bad pcp trip, a v.w. bug lay upside down on a roof,a brick schoolhouse looked like a Dresden factory,the ravens sounding like Germans.

A flood in Redding,1987: another bug,floating down the river called Interstate 5. A week of sirens,helicopters,evacuations,canned food and quik candlelit romps and bacchanals lasting 24/7. Drama scale ? 4. A measly 4. Siskel and Ebert(now Roper--who the hell is this guy,eh?) would be mixed on my drama of the Northern California flood amongst white trash drug addicts...prolly cause Keanu would play me, in that monoemotion of his, like he just ate Opium cake for breakfast and downed it with Valium punch:What, ok,like I will rescue you..like can we fuck then?)

This week: poison oak.Drama scale ? A million. It is off the goddamned charts. Do not laugh or call me histrionic,melodramatic. Yes,do. Call me that. This is natures way of saying to me"Youre petty life is now dictated by diet leprosy,leprosy-lite...good day!

Shazam!Your skin is covered in welps,lesions,macabre red raises,blisters and a model of the surface of Mars. You are a red crocodile. And now the burning itch:On your lovely gnarled cock,your eyes,arms,legs,belly,chest,neck. Diet leprosy. Ive always had an on again off again relationship with Mother Earth,but now I want to commit matricide. My umpteenth time with this dermatological savaging. Done. We are kaput,momma. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on. Fuck the redwoods,the dirt,the ocean,pretty flowers,rivers,sunrise,sunset,Ayers Rock,The Nile,the Gobi,the taiga,all of it. Concrete, cement. This is love. This is holy now .Cover up the old hag. My way of casually saying "Pthwt!"

I want to bap hippys on the head with a tractor tire,drive a semi thru Manhatten bitchslapping babyseals,drinking pure Chernobyl nuclear waste,injecting rare civet pancreas blood into my neck,wear Saudi crude for cologne----my way of saying Hiroshima, mon amour.

Yes, terra madre, you give me this and more you have given me: sleepless nights on the Pacific chasing tuna,puking and delirious,watching whales rise up with famished eyes as if I were a knish with legs;sharks and gills and scales and a desert of wawa rising and falling ....for what?The grizzly in Alaska who kept me locked in my truck for two hours as he growled and stood trying to eat his beloved knish with legs;all the near death experiences with rattlesnakes, black widows,horses falling on me, bulls chasing me, rabid bats,wilddogs chasing me into the boughs of an oak,fleas, ticks,rats,bird shit,heat,cold, rain,sleet,snow,flood,drought.Flora and fauna are no funna.We are done , you and I. And, when I rule the planet I will pay you back a million fold. Oh, yes! Paybacks are a motherfuckin bitch. Highrises in the Grand canyon, a parking lot in the Amazon, nuke the Galapogos,poison the wells, stripmall the Yukon. In a thousand years when you recover you will shake us off. I know. I do.You always come back .The human race will be paying for my sin.In this sense I 'am the anti-christ.But, I'm okay with this:my body will be dead:Buried in a steel box,in a vault deep inside a nuclear bunker made out of polyurethane and plastic dildos. Poison oak free:a smiling bag of cfc's,msg,gmo's,nicotine,alcohol,exhaust,pollution,formaldehyde. I will look down from a heaven sponsored by multinational corporations and send you my love.