On Why I Suddenly Feel Like eating human flesh
On why I suddenly feel like cannibalizing dirty hippys....
My first day in Dantes seventh layer of Hell. I've decided to quit smoking, yet cannot remember the reason why.My neurons are exploding each nanosecond,every pore is agape and shrieking.My body chemsitry is experiencing a physiological Bolshevik Revolution.Dopamine levels have plummetted.Insulin is not being suppressed.Adrenalin levels are seeking balance.No, its much worse than that.This first day without nicotine is like 400,000 Mongols are running amok inside me,it is the entire Wehrmacht in my veins,a million cellular Mansons --- I'am your own personal Chernobyl.I'am confused and spacy.I feel like I have Downs Syndrome, Alzheimers,Parkinsons,A.D.D. and the severest case of Tourettes .Fuckingoddamnhalfwitmotherfucker has become my favorite word.I want strangers to know what I want....ten minutes ago.I want friends to leave---only, after theyre gone I want them to come back.Then, leave again.I've cleaned the house and messed it up again.I'am a 200 pound hamster created by Phillip Morris and my choices.23 years of gagging,hacking,coughing,sputtering,spewing up all manner of dead creatures,of being fatigued,winded,smelling like a Third World toilet.
I want to kill something large.Ants wont do.Birds dont have enough blood.I want to annhilate a herd of wildebeest.I want Arma-fucken-geddon.
I want a cave.I want T.N.T .I want planes loaded with bombs.I want eject,rewind,pause.Fuckin Spice Girls....yeah, I tell ya what I really really want:
I want a goddamned cigarette.A Gaulloises,perhaps?Sure,times 20.A Marlboro,Camel,Kamel,Winston,Woodbine,
generic Arapaho reservation -made fags...I dont care.A cigarette butt.Anything.A nice cigarette and cigar boullaibaise.Distilled Turkish Specials clam sauce over tobacco fettucine; A Winston Light pizza.A fresh pack of smokes,unopened,you stare at it like its your lover and its been many moons since youve done this,you start by kissing the object of your desire,oh yes, then undo ,unwrap make naked,then part,opening the insides and unlike coitus,your first motion is to pull out(do not "pierce"the cigarette,I tell you it will not work),then fire,then that initial inhalation:Nicotine like the angel of Life to every famished cell.Nicotine: a cross between the philanthropy of Mother Teresa and a bucket full of orgasms.
.I'm chewing gum.Trident. I hate gum and people who chew it.Even if gum tasted like Sapphire gin or Glenfiddich it'd still look moronic. Each chew brings up visions of cattle masticulating their cuds:Looking vapid,retarded,so uncool,so anti-James Dean.Its how I feel at this moment:Half momo, half psychotic.I sit here shaking my knees ,chewing ferociously,dreaming of sexy paleskinned cigarettes.Oh, but theyre sirens.They mean harm.This is where I'm supposed to ask to be tied to the mast,right?
This goddamned gum tastes like Barbie hair.My house smells like a bar.A gaggle of hippies trudge down the street:smoking .I will mug them for a cigarette.It all makes sense now.I will eat their nicotine laden veins ,I will scrape the tar from their frazzled lungs with a clam shell,boil it down and shoot it into my spasming circulatory system.Theyre going down, every Medusa headed ,bongo beating organatron will perish;afterwards,basking in post-nicotine ingestion bliss I will wash their vegan and patchoili blood from my hands,dry it,cook it and snort it in lines resembling a topographic rendition of the Andes. Oh, yeah.But, first...first I have to remember how to tie my shoes.
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